I’ve sat down to write a blog article every day for weeks and every time I walk away without anything to show for it. It’s been quite a frustrating few weeks. The funny thing is, it’s not really about writer’s block, or that I have nothing to say. I’ve actually written quite a bit.
Over the last couple of days I’ve really pondered what the problem is. I believe what’s happening here is that I opened that door to self-doubt and I’m having a hell of a time getting it to leave.
I’ve noticed that I’m asking myself some very disempowering questions, and my brain, in all its infinite wisdom is answering me, but not with very empowering answers. So I’ve been on a downward spiral, but instead of being stairs, it’s a slide, and I’ve been gaining speed.
As you can imagine, this hasn’t just affected my blog writing, it’s affected every aspect of my life. My relationships with my family, my friends, even my dog. It has stopped me in my tracks as far as my business goes. It’s hurt some of my business relationships too. (Being flakey, isn’t a good business practice I might add). It’s affected my health. I’ve gained weight, I feel like crap and I’m not sleeping regularly. It’s hurt me financially. I’ve let stuff slip. I haven’t kept up with bills as I should, and I’m not making the money I should.
I really hate to admit this, but I’ve totally self-destructed in a matter of a month.
So the question I have to ask is why? How did I go from what appeared to be the top of my game, with everything clicking, to this? What the hell happened?
Unfortunately, for me, it’s a typical pattern. I’m sabotaging any success that I’m having because in a nutshell, I don’t feel worthy. I don’t feel that I deserve the success that is showing itself to me.
I’m on a path that is totally unfamiliar to me and I’m having a hard time accepting that I should be on this path. I have no idea where these thoughts are coming from either. What is it that makes me feel unworthy? Is it my past? Do I have unresolved issues from my childhood that are holding me back? Or could it be that I’m just afraid of what lies ahead because I’ve never been there before? Could it be a combination of all that? Probably.
Maybe I’m just thinking too much. Ha ha. I have a tendency to do that. Whatever it is, it needs to stop because I know I’ll never get to the next level if I keep slipping back to the familiar. The familiar ones do not serve me. I hate it there! But the problem is, I’m comfortable there. I know my way around there. I can deal with what’s there. I know all this and every time I try to fight it, it’s like a thousand hands pulling me down and holding me from leaving this place. Like some cosmic wrestling match and I keep getting pinned. I want to scream!
So my friends, the question is, what am I going to do about it? Good question. Writing about it helps, and identifying the problem is ½ the battle. I believe that what I need to do is regain my focus. I’ve been letting events and circumstances define my mood instead of controlling it on my own. I’ve been thinking negative thoughts, and negative thoughts beget negative thoughts. Hence the downward spiral. So it’s time to put the Vision board back up. It’s time to take the goals out and go over them and focus on nothing but them. Create an action plan. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. I will immerse myself in self development again. I’ve found that I was more in maintenance mode than learning mode, and I’m not ready to maintain. I need to keep pushing.
I’m going to concentrate on my health again. I stopped doing the things that made me feel good and gave me energy. That needs to resume.
As far as business goes, I need to get back to that place of helping people without an agenda. I’ve been guilty of thinking lately with my ego and not my heart. I got wrapped up in the success and lost focus on what really matters, and that’s helping others.
Hey, I feel so much better now that I’ve written this. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again. Damn those curving tunnels!! I know that I’m not alone in all this, and that I’m not the only one that feels these feelings. I just hope that by me writing this, it might help someone else going through the same thing.
I’m not going to commit to doing a daily journal thing here, but I’m thinking that I will write more articles about this, and how I’m dealing with it, and God willing, give some breakthrough advice on how to overcome it.
I would be thrilled and honored if you would check in on me every now and again to see how it’s going. I’d also love to hear any suggestions on how you’ve coped with this kind of situation if you’ve gone through it. Send me an email at david@aboveallsuccess.com if you’d like it private, or just leave a comment below.
Until next time; To Your Success! Because Your Success Matters!
David Haines
(215) 268-6696 Anytime!
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Hey David,
You’re one of my favorite writers, I always look forward to your blogs — and yes, helping other people is what we’re supposed to be doing and if you lose sight of that it can’have a devastating affect on your business. Thanks for sharing what you’re going through and how you’re dealing with it.
Blessings,
Karla Setchel
www.KarlaSetchel.com
Thank you Karla! I don’t like to write about depressing stuff, but sometimes I think there is therapy in the act of expression. All will be well soon. I feel it.
Take care,
David
Well, David,
what to say, my friend…
Essentially most of us are around the path you mention more often than what we would like to admit and of course apart from deciding any subjective solution, none of us know exactly how to deal with these feelings.
Let´s say that succeeding is hard and “normal lives” are usually lived without so much pressure… but “normal” could be a standard that maybe we don´t want to fit and the observation, known by most of us, is probably equally fake.
… you mentioned your dog. Well, let me tell you something I read once about dogs and that taught me a little about myself (yep! it did
What we perceive as “courage” in dogs is usually fear or lack of intelligence. Yes, some scientific tests run in different “types” of dogs, showed that usually smart dogs won´t attack under command except that they be in a deep fear; even trained dogs…
Some of the dogs ready to follow an express command that put their lives in risk, are usually less smart than the ones that hesitate. And these last ones don´t follow commands that would cost their lives, like jumping from a bridge (the actual test). They will “find an alternative” to ultimately reach their goal but without following the commanded action.
I don´t know! Just reflecting in the wisdom of nature (without comparing ourselves with dogs… some of them are actually better
maybe thinking and analyzing just show us that the road is long and not easy. Not the so called “expressway to success”… and, except that we be in a deep fear we will hesitate. Or maybe sometimes we need to be a little bit simpler and just “believe” we are safe.
In any case, paraphrasing Zen let´s say that the target and the intention to hit it are not separated entities. That there is not difference between the goal and the intention and that both are moments of a whole that creates our reallity.
From that perspective “thinking” and “action” shouldn´t contradict each other.
The commitment is not with what is happening right now in our lives, but with the “model of Reallity” that we want to create for ourselves and your people.
In any case, it´s very brave to admit that sometimes we don´t know the answers…. Certainty is illusory.
Saludos
our people…
Sorry! I get trapped into Philosophy
Omar, thank you very much. Your comments are always very thought provoking. The information about dogs is interesting and makes a lot of sense. I truly value your insights.
Take care,
David
Hi David!
Negative thinking habits play a major role in depression. Research shows that depressed people tend to minimize their accomplishments, talents and qualities. Experience failure, disappointment, rejection, negative emotions, pain and sadness. But happy people keep a positive attitude and accept the sadness and suffering as normal parts of life, while doing what they can to solve their problems. This also makes them more pleasant to be around and improves their social life.
Life is beautiful!
smile .. smile and be sure to smile!
Regards
Magali //(“;) \ ‘
Thanks Magali, I’ll keep on smiling, even when I don’t feel like it. :O)
David,
Thanks so much for sharing from your heart. I think you are on the right track already! Wanted to share another friend with you…John Milton Fogg who wrote “The Greatest Networker in the World” …might be time to dig that one out again? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az6jWFP914A. Johns questions have been helpful for me at different times. Let me know if you need help getting through them. It helps to have someone else ask them:). Some of his other videos are good too. Ignore the ones with me in them:)! Again, think you are so on the right track. Don’t be too hard on yourself! Being honest and upfront about your journey will be a blessing to yourself and others. It will serve you well, my friend. I’m looking forward to future posts already.
Christy
Hi David,
we all go through these stages, at the end the most important, I think, is to add the experience and continue with our goals.
Thanks for the courage
Raisa
Hi David,
If its any comfort, I have missed reading your posts as you always speak from the heart.
Cut yourself some slack…you are only human…we have all been in the same frame of mind more often than we like to admit. Its part of the ups and downs called life.
I so believe that everything happens for a reason and you are meant to experience this, even if it is not so enjoyable. When you push thru it…
…and you will…
…you will be all the better of a person for having endured!
You will be seeing things more clearer very soon, just writing this post is a step in the right direction!
Hang tough my friend
Regards,
Sharon
Hi David!
First of all I want to say you’re so brave man! Sharing a very personal experience like you described in your post is not easy.
Second… It’s great you decided to do something to change it. Actually I think you’re already helping people sharing your story because probably someone who’s reading your post is going through that right now.
And third… It happens to all of us! So don’t feel bad about it and feel great because you accepted your mistakes and you really want to keep fighting for your success.
Saludos,
Marco
We’ve all been through it, David. It’s not something that goes away, it’s just something we learn to marginalize in our lives rather than to make it the centerpiece of our persona.
I know you’ll be on the other side of this spiral just as quickly as you slipped into it!
Thanks for you authenticity and leadership at all levels, David.
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!