Are you familiar with Anthony Robbins’ Personal Power program? If not, you should check it out. I recently dusted it off and started listening to it again.

In the program he talks a lot about the Pleasure – Pain principle. Basically it’s all about how people will do more to avoid pain then they ever will to get pleasure. Like for example, if there is something that we know we need to do, but keep avoiding doing that thing, it means that the pain we associate with doing it is stronger than the pleasure we would get if we did it. So we don’t do it. But, after awhile, an interesting thing happens. The pain associated with NOT doing it, becomes so strong that we end up doing it after all.

This has me thinking about how this applies to Network Marketing and our businesses in general.

For the most part, when we think of what Network Marketing can provide us, we think of all the Pleasure things, like having more money, taking vacations, owning our lives, helping other people and having all the toys we’ve always wanted.

I’ve studied a lot of the leaders on our industry and found that, while all those things are nice and were part of the drive that caused them to be able to have those things, the real reason behind that drive and focus was all the pain of NOT having those things. The pain of working for someone else, the pain of seeing their kids stuck in daycare, the pain of constently stuggling to pay their bills and the pain of seeing others succeed who were really no more talented, educated or lucky than they were.

It’s the pain that drove them.

That’s what I think is sometimes missing from those that aren’t succeeding with their business. They haven’t associated enough pain to NOT succeeding.

One of the things I always encourage members of my team to do is to figure out their “Why” and most people’s “Why” is something like making more money, or give to charity, or stop working at a job. While all those things are great, I believe they aren’t enough to really motivate them. I can instantly tell a person’s committment level based upon their “Why”.

I’ve received some really powerful ones. Ones that have made ME cry. Those are usually the people that see success.

What I’m suggesting here is that those with the most pain associated with not succeeding are actually more likely to succeed than those that just focus on the pleasure success will bring them.

So what should we do to find that pain? Ha ha, I never thought I’d want people to find and focus on pain, but this is very important.

Make a list.

Write down all the reasons why you MUST NOT FAIL.
Write down all the things that are painful about where you are right now.
Write down all the things you will not settle for.
Write down all the things that will happen if you don’t succeed in your business.
Write down all the names of the people who say you can’t do it, and along side those names, write what they’ve said to you.

I believe that once you have this list and review it daily, it can be just as important as your list of goals. The goal is what you want. The “Pain List” is what will drive you there.

So don’t wait, go make your pain list. Think of how much it will hurt you if you don’t.

To Your Success, Because Your Success Matters!

David Haines
(215) 268-6696 Anytime!

Hi, My name is David Haines, and I live in Doylestown, PA just north of Philadelphia. Thanks for visiting my Blog. I hope that I can be of service to you. My purpose in life is to help other Network Marketers save themselves Years of Failure and Frustration. It doesn't matter what company you are with, I am happy to help and share what I've learned so you can achieve the same success as I'm experiencing.
David Haines
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(215) 268-6696

Comment :

Christy Dutilly

Fantastic. I couldn’t agree more and recognize that some of my greatest accomplishments had their root in avoiding or eliminating pain. It is also in having experienced it that we are willing to do more than others to avoid it at all costs in the future.
I’d love to incorporate your “pain list” into my training if you don’t mind? A really powerful excercise in many ways.
Thanks for sharing!
Tony is going to do his Unleash The Power within in the Tri Sate area in early November…he is even better in person:) if you haven’t already experienced it!


    Hi Christy, your absolutely correct, experiencing the pain first hand makes us willing to do more. But…. I know I for example, have a short memory. I tend to try to forget the pains of the past. But there’s a big difference between living in those past moments, and instead, using them as fuel. I used to just live there and wallow. It was another thing that Tony teaches about the past not equaling the future that changed my perception of the past and got me out of wallowing an into focusing on the future and using the past as a way to push me forward.

    I won’t make Tony’s UTPW Seminar this time, but always wanted to go.

    Feel free to incorporate this into your training. I would be honored. :O)

    Thanks for the comment!

    Take care,

    David Haines


Hi David,
The Pain List is really a powerful exercise. I’ll do it right away!.
We tend “to forget” what causes pain to us but, definitely it’s a great remainder that we need to use to keep us in track and finally accomplish our goals.
Thanks for sharing


    Hi Raisa, thanks for commenting. I have found this exercise to be very motivating in that it pushes me away from the pain. If you do it, let me know how it works for you.


    David Haines

Karla Setchel

Hey David,

Very interesting info. I’ve always been taught to focus on the positive, so your post gives me something to ponder.

Karla Setchel


    Hi Karla, I know this sort of goes against traditional thinking, but honestly, pain is part of life. It’s not necessarily negative unless we view it that way. If we look at it in a positive light, like it’s there to push away from displeasure, then we use it to our advantage. Think of it as a way to push you towards the goal, where thinking positive will pull you. Now you have both forces working for you. I hope this helps.


    David Haines


Hola David,

I agree with Karla, we’re used to think about positive things but we can learn something about “negative things” too.

I think that’s the reason immigrants on U.S. have a lot of success. They suffer in their countries because they don’t have the resources to get what they want, to be succesful, so they go to another country with more opportunities and they fight to get it.

They experienced the pain first and as they don’t want to feel like that anymore, they do what it takes to be succesful. Don’t you think?



Pain is simply the inversion of Pleasure. You cannot appreciate pleasure without knowing what pain is. You cannot appreciate how important it is to reach your goals, until you’ve savored the pain you must overcome to get there.

Really great post, David. You’ve given us a list of things we MUST consider in order to move forward in our success.



Great article! I cannot agree more, finding out people’s “why’s” in any situation will be the foundation for providing them with the best possible advice and experience! The avoidance of Pain is such a subconscious psychological imperative that most people simply confuse the avoidance of one and the gaining of the other!

As Karla and Marco insinuated the focus should be on pleasure not pain, but it is by understanding pain and re-shifting our focus to make it more painful NOT to achieve our dreams where we really start finding sustained success!

Roland Gilbert

Debbie Drummond@Las Vegas hi rise condos

Amazing advice, David. Pain is such an amazing motivator for most everyone. But based on my experience, fear can sometimes overtake that motivation. Although we are afraid of the pain of not succeeding, more often than not we succumb to the fear of failure and just settle for nothing.


one + = 7